2013 & The Beautiful Pain Movement

Welcome to 2013.

My name is Tianna Spears and I am the founder of The Beautiful Pain Movement, the completely neutral support group for women and men who have experienced abortion, and for family and friends who want to help.

To everyone reading this, I just want to say thanks. 2012 was the beginning of The Beautiful Pain Movement and I can only imagine what 2013 is going to look like.

In 2011, I watched a friend go through the aftermath of an abortion. I hugged her, I told her that in time everything would slowly get better. I did not have all the answers, but what I have is a heart and ears to listen. I saw her pain, heard it in her voice, saw it accumulate and drip from her eyes.  Very few people understood her. I saw her struggle with a constant lack of support, whether it be from resources she reached out to and did not identify with because of their political agendas, religious views, or Pro-Life/ Pro-Choice beliefs. I was there.

As myself or anyone else can tell you, it is difficult to fit in where you do not feel you belong.

I write this because I desperately want to give hope, love, support, and resources to those who need them. Certain situations people cannot face themselves and more often than not, abortion is one of those situations. But where do you go when you feel no one understands AND no one talks about abortion?

As a whole, a society, we are supposed to be strong, but handle our pain in private, behind closed doors, and bury our skeletons in the closet. I disagree. People need people to get through difficult situations, no matter what the circumstances may be. Allow yourself to ask for help, to voice whatever you may be going through, and get the support you deserve.

I promise you deserve it…

I am here. The Beautiful Pain Movement is here. Just know that you are not alone, regardless of what society thinks, your family, and your friends. Know that there are people out there that have been through the same thing as you or your loved one. Know that there are people who have felt exactly what you have  and there are people in this world who understand. Even though it may feel that you are alone, you are not and never will be.

The Beautiful Pain Movement offers a place of support and love without judgment for you to discuss your personal experience with abortion. Perhaps you know a loved one going through this situation and you want to help them. Regardless of the specifics of the situation, we are here to listen. We want you to feel accepted and loved for who you are. Come as you are and be yourself.

People ask me all the time if I am qualified to do this work, if I have any degrees or certification to run The Beautiful Pain Movement.

The simple and easy answer to that question is no.

I am a 20-year-old student at NC State University that likes to play basketball, play guitar, hang with friends, and read in my free time. I am a Business major concentrating in Human Resources and Entrepreneurship and a minor in Spanish.

I am many things. Do not let my response fool you.

There are things in this life that people will tell you, to discourage you, to break your spirit. A degree can give me the means to work in a certain profession, but what about the work that needs to be done now? The people who suffer in silence? The voices that need to be heard? What about my friend? What about people who do not have anyone?

A book can give you the knowledge, but there is pain, grief, and situations that cannot be understood by a couple of words on a page; they must be felt with the heart. Experience can teach you things in which a book cannot.

I am a 20-year-old inspiring change. I am without the “formal qualifications” but I am human. I have a heart. I have empathy. I have personal experience.

Who is to decide if what lies deep inside of your heart is good enough to help people?

The controversial statement behind the The Beautiful Pain Movement is that I am asking you to look beyond your morals, political and religious beliefs, and Pro-Life/ Pro- Choice viewpoint.

Does that scare you?

I do not care, The Beautiful Pain Movement does not care what your stance is when it comes to the Pro-Life/ Pro-Choice debate.

I want you to dig deep to the idea that many people seem to have forgotten. Discard the garbage that society, the media, and your environment have fed into your conscience about race, gender, social class, social issues, sexuality, religion…

Have you forgotten that we are all human?

Realize that people need people to overcome tough situations. Does the fact that it is abortion matter? Can we not give help and resources to someone who needs them? Can we not be supportive and understanding? Who decides this…?

The person experiencing an abortion situation could be your partner/wife, mother, aunt, sister, mentor, friend, grandma, granddaughter…

The person being affected could be your partner/ husband, father, uncle, brother, mentor, friend, grandpa, grandson…

Now ask yourself, do they matter to you? Can you be more understanding?

Can you get the support you deserve?

The Beautiful Pain Movement is just getting started. Welcome to 2013.

2 comments

  1. [...] handle our pain in private, behind closed doors, and bury our skeletons in the closet,” Spears blogged recently. “I disagree. People need people to get through difficult situations, no matter what the [...]

  2. [...] handle our pain in private, behind closed doors, and bury our skeletons in the closet,” Spears blogged recently. “I disagree. People need people to get through difficult situations, no matter what the [...]

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